What Is An Honest Life?

It would be completely arrogant for me to say that I live an honest life, because I don’t really think I know what that is. At best, I think it is fair to say that I am holding myself more accountable now than before. Maybe that is the most I can hope for, to continue to be more accountable to what it is I believe and hold true for myself.

Of course, what I hold true for myself continues to evolve and deep inquiry is the reason. Wanting to know more has become the engine of my life, and the benefits have been extraordinary. I cannot imagine stopping.

This evolution I speak of is the reason that an honest life is a moving target. As I change, my ability to think becomes more refined and nuanced. I continue to be led to understandings that are concise and more importantly, relevant to the person that I am and am becoming.

Concise is elegant, and elegance can be found in the very best of poetry to the simple and wordless act of holding hands. It is the “less is more” principle I am trying to invoke here. The unnecessary words, the idle talking, the clutter, they have all been removed.

I am finding that for me the honest life started to appear when I began to remove the clutter. This was an affair of self-annihilation, a reluctant but necessary stripping away of everything that had held me together. It took me a very long time and a lot of people were hurt before I realized that most of what had “held me together” was actually snuffing the life force out of me. My knees buckled many times as I came face to face with the deeply painful choices.

Honesty is not complicated. However, the path there is. It is tough, damn tough. Many people supported me even when they might not have understood what was going on inside of me and I thank them all.

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2 responses to “What Is An Honest Life?

  • zastre

    From a longer extract that I’ve been pondering for awhile now, apropos of questions around honesty: “How are you around change and your openness to the vulnerability of new voyages, and how do you treat the harvest of the unsaid and unsayable within yourself? Do you rifle it with the latest concepts, or do you respect its slow, unpredictable fermentation and what can emerge from it? How are you, in other words, about your own sense of mystery, and what level and quality of imagination do you bring to imagining who you are?”

    Like

    • photosentinel1953

      The harvest you speak of feels as if a gift of which I am a steward. This isn’t mine, it is something larger and that alone takes my breath away. That it is “the unsaid and unsayable” has nearly silenced me: I want to go sit quietly, calm, still and warm, and listen, let it ripen. My “honest self” knows this is the “new voyage”, and I wonder if I have the courage to do so.
      I will consider the “level and quality of imagination” that I bring to this process. You are correct that this is about “imagining”, and not discovering. Thank you for your most insightful comment and questions.

      Like

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