I have been afraid of applying any force to my life for fear that anger would surface and betray the appearance of peacefulness.
Now I understand that there was a reason for my anger. My anger was an expression
I was angry because I couldn’t be heard. I couldn’t speak. I was silenced by the fear of even more isolation.
Now that I have spoken, the threat of isolation has disappeared. Once the reasons were revealed the mysteries fell away.
I extend my arms overhead, I stretch them until it hurts and it feels so good. To open my breastbone to the air, to breathe in deeper because it is safer now to do so. To lay down the weapons of tension and restraint. Silence, once a hardened tool of protection now becomes gentle acceptance.
Transformation of silence to song, anger to acceptance, and burdens to blessings. Such is my life. My strides are longer, so is my gaze.