I realize that I am in this life for the long haul, that at the age of 62 I am clear for the first time ever that I want more years, more decades. And all that comes with them.
The challenges of life will not disappear, they will not recede just because I want them to. Yet I press on.
I am more skilled at being present. I am moving forward to the front row, where I have a more intimate relationship with life’s beauty and challenges.
I am more engaged with the very same life that I had been hiding from. This entails accepting all of my life, embracing the challenges as fortifications.
I am learning to hold space for what is. I am sitting quietly, witnessing, caring, aching, laughing, loving and accepting. I sense without any hesitation that to be fully present I need to be fully open, that I must reveal myself.
The struggles are not disappearing. I am appearing.
Pressing on.
This isn't what I had in mind. 